1. |
infinite
06:02
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we gonna roll with the infinite
infinite
we gonna roll with the infinite
the infinite
we back home
we back home
we back home
we back home
we back home
we back home
when the sky opens above us
and the earth sinks beneath us
when our lives are revealed to us
with no veils as decorations
our consequences will be waiting
you will beg for that second you spent hesitating
to return to you
to undo
to redo
rewrite
rewind
re love
realize
life is fleeting
life is leaving with every breath
every bounty is seeking you to find it
every abundance is asking you to claim it
what more do you need then
the earth laid out before you
then the sky held high above you
begging for you to trail blaze
blaze trails that not even shooting stars can out shine
you are magical
and amazingly wonderful
i swear by my lord you are beautiful
and worthy
and written
a word is read
and you are giving
a reason
a rhythm
a passion
a purpose
beckons you to take flight
a new and pure life awaits
in the decisions that you make
in the patience that you practice
in the rituals you make constant
in the company you keep
in the evil you condemn
in the love you commune
in the violence that brings justice
or the justice that brings violence
our lord is so sufficient
and every seemingly meaningless moment
significant
and
how magnificent that this wonder is
written in the laughter of the progeny after you
and the crys of the ancestors before you
how could anyone ever convince you that you are here
alone
without a home
when generations embrace you from every angle
and angles are seeking for a reason to surround you
just waiting
and
watching your lips to move in motions that remind us to the
name of God
that remind us the the Grace of God
let the rain come forth
and the vegitation give way
and the flowers finally bloom
filling the air with such a sweet and familiar fragrance
fountains i swear i have once bathed in
souls im certain i could name them
if it wasnt for how beautiful they now appear
its prior form could never compare
your Lord will always be there
in your darkest hours of despair
you Lord will always be there
in the darkest hours of dispair
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2. |
i still love you
00:56
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3. |
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4. |
i still love you too
00:10
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how can i not love you
when you make me want to run away from here
and towards
god
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5. |
holy gratitude
06:11
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feel just like a ladybug
sign of luck and love
feel just like a firefly
lighting up the sky
feel just like a honeybee
life is sweet on me
feel just like a hummingbird
message of good words
holy gratitude
a covering of goodness
has graced us
and held us
thru heart breaks
that are too brutal to even mention
provided a comfort
for the ones who gives comfort
reminding us that
love is a form of
coming home
to ones self
a means of
tending to the cuts
that have bled open
far too long
perhaps healing begins at the core
our closest parts
the danger of a leading
with the open heart
is the worthwhile risk
of unspeakable pain
yet our everlasting
shield remains
this sweet reminder
this sweet refrain
i am closer to you than your jugular vein
i am closer to you than your jugular vein
and what is it called when you are too tired to feel angry
how much of yourself can you
discard in this life without completely disappearing
and i know their comfort in their coldness
creates cruel casualties
so casually
but know
your beauty outshines
the white moon
in a mawlid sky
my sister you sacred scripture
rising sun chaser
feet to the ground
head to the sky
stretching the entire expanse
with kindness
do you know how special it is
that you always seem to find
a new way to give thanks
that you cant seem to pass
by a blooming flower
without stopping to acknowledge
its beauty and calling upon a higher power
that you take appreciation
and grace it upon
all that has been taken for granted
lush gardens rush forward
beneath where your feet are planted
beauty stopping to honor beauty
and remembering the most beautiful
the truth of your reality
wrapped up in the essence of the
most gracious
most merciful
what a divine creature
to be written
within this divine signature
may the peace of god
be upon the wombs
the women who
light the world with
their inner sanctuary
no wonder
all that is beautiful
journeys towards love
and keeps finding each other
no wonder
we journey towards our dreams
and keep finding each other
feel just like a ladybug
sign of luck and love
feel just like a firefly
lighting up the sky
feel just like a honeybee
life is sweet on me
feel just like a hummingbird
message of good words
and in my body i know there
is an answer to every question
and in my spirit i know there
is a solution to every challenge
and in my tradition i know there
is a herb for every ailment
sacred solutions
solving soothing
saving seas of believers
so now i choose to sing
at the first
sign of a rising sun
and this is the way i come home
so now i choose to dance
at the first glance
of a crescent moon
and this is the way i come home
so now i choose to laugh
at the first hint
of a budding romance
and this is the way i come home
so now i choose to run
towards the first thought
of a righteous deed
and this is the way i come home
so now i choose to forgive
at the first grain
of a cruel offense
and this is the way i come home
so now i choose to pray
at the first spark
of a new inspiration
and this is the way i come home
my sister you sacred scripture
rising sun chaser
feet to the ground
head to the sky
stretching the entire expanse
with kindness
you are a breath of freedom
you are a plentiful harvest
you are a gentle smile
you are a safe haven
you are a bountiful blessing
you make life better
make life worth living
and i love you
and i love you
and i love you
feel just like a ladybug
sign of luck and love
feel just like a firefly
lighting up the sky
feel just like a honeybee
life is sweet on me
feel just like a hummingbird
message of good words
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6. |
i still love you four
00:30
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my heart is wide open
the taste of love
stays fresh on my lips
soft in my heart
there is no anguish
no armor
no army
no war
no weapon
no weary
that can keep me
from the constant state
of being a lover
give thanks
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7. |
the lovers
03:12
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the lovers
two brave souls
said yes
witnessed
their hearts
more home to each other
than themselves
seen themselves
in one
another
as one
tended gently
to the garden of the heart
cultivated
nourished
paid mind
so all life could be given a
grand blooming
fully flourish
a full field
of wonder
ready
they discover
the answers
will only come
with movement
like the wind
like the water
like the sky
stayed constant
with each moment
they knew
each now
was the one most
valuable
was the one most
worthy of attention
got all them moments and nows
to add up to seconds
to add up to minutes
to add up to hours
to add up to days
to add up to weeks
to add up to months
got them a whole
heap
of goodness
a whole load of glory
got them 51 years of i do
of yes
of again
of more
of enter
of welcome
of stay
got them to
riches that last lifetimes
for there is no
longer lasting
legacy
than true love
all their progeny
will testify
will take risks and
walk courageously in love
courageously with love
because
that’s what we do
because that’s what they did
tied love to our blood
deeply imbedded in our dna
in our genetic memory
in our unnamed recollections
in our nature
in our lineage
becomes what we are made of
becomes what we are known for
there they go
them lovers
there they go
them builders
there they go
them growers
them preservers of
tradition
them keepers of heart connections
them champions of the vulnerable
them wild and free folk
with all that wealth
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8. |
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for the days when tired
feels too heavy
when my story
is too much of a burden
for my lover to witness
i find healing in my solitude
in the freedom of belonging
to only myself
and the honor of carrying
my own truth wide
across my back
like wings
amongst an eternal sky
infinite like the heavens
rich as water
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9. |
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i was scared to mourn out loud and for such a long period of time
so i would write pieces of my longing
inside short and random text messages
or brief emails
or in long hugs to strangers
knowing i would never see them again
i would disperse my cry for help in sonnets
that i never shared
tears camouflaged by the beauty of the moon
she is sensitive
she is emotional
she is passionate
but all the while
I was just grieving
grief makes me feel nauseous
makes all my insides feel like they fighting to make home in a foreign land
scrambling for peace
like if they dont find it soon enough
it'll be too late
having knowledge that it is coming
but no knowledge what is coming
hear the thunder
feel the shaking
all the hurry
all the anxious
all the frenzy
wont stay gone long enough
wont forget me
like a star crossed love
obsessed with despair
full of this tangled type of empty
that Instinct tells you to feed
and to starve all at the same time
mangled
mixed messages
keep me from finding a remedy to fix me
symptoms switch from whispers to wailing
shape shifting
grief takes a taste of every emotion
and spits it up in my belly
my body dont know how to digest
a tinge of jealousy
a sprinkle of anger
a slice of love
a teaspoon of hate
a heap of fear
a cup of anguish
a dash of danger
a portion of crazy
where u beg to remember and forget all at the same time
where you suppose to house
such a strange recipe
that dont think its strange at all
even will toss itself around with itself
like you a mixing bowl
set the timer on forever and give itself the wrong temperature
so it stays cooking even longer
no preparation or
preheating
pre warning
just cold and callus
death just came all at once
and Im suppose to go back to normal
living like things aint change me
like this melancholy inside me aint left a mark
took the butterfly feeling you get when you riding a rollercoaster
or falling in love
and changed it forever
now just feel like these overgrown
wasps and hornets and bees
and each one territorial over this sweet nectar of grief
scavengers at war stinging everything they touch
dont make me wanna seek adventure anymore cuz it has a haunting thats too similar
stays with me
too easy to recall
makes cameos
of calamities inside commonalities
pops up unannounced and overstays its welcome
keeps wanting to make friends
be friendly
its persistence is sickening
courts me like its certain Ima say yes
throws its pride away
like all it sees in me is reward
dont care for its reputation
loves me the way he was loving me
pursues me aggressive
and Im suppose to make sense of that
act like it aint changed me
shifted my insides
tore a tendon
washed me over
washed me under
drowning in this third person narrative
wincing at having all the creative control
and having none of the creative control all
at the same time
so today I thought maybe I have to navigate this like I did my nightmares
use to have violent visions when sleep fell
till I taught myself that i could fight those traumas
from the inside out
team up on what was hurting me
oppressing me
kill the killer
I remember that day I learned my power
seen my ancestors smile
and then sigh
cuz how Im suppose to cut this grief so precise
and discard the deadly parts
this self surgery
that feels more like detonating a time bomb
cept the wires is veins and arteries
and they covered in blood
and its dark
with no sunrise in sight
makes me wanna drop all that's heavy
curl up tight and pray for my mamas hands on me
or my fathers prayers
or my lovers laugh
and there it is again
there it is
again
this grief that makes me feel
so nauseous
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10. |
i still love you nine
00:35
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for the men who have forgotten how to love
for the women who have chosen to forger
for the children who are witnessing the drought
for the elders who are weeping
we have not given up
we have not forfeited
we have not accepted defeat
we have only exhausted
every logical solution
that is why it appears
as if we have gone
made
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11. |
alchemy
01:38
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i made friends with my loneliness
we have an inner knowing about each other
that turns torment into comfort
instead of dreading nightfall
i patiently await his arrival
bathe in oils
light candles
prepare myself
as i would
for my favorite lover
we sit
find memories to cherish
tell old stories
of remember when
of how come
and in between we find
moments of stillness so profound
no one has witnessed me the way he has
no one has sat with me for so long
let me cry
hour after hour
night after night
no one has let me grieve
without tryin to fix me
no one has held me close
without tryin to take advantage of me
no lover has laid his head in my lap
ready and willing to receive all of me
exactly as i am
we have an understanding
a type of chemistry
a connection
that makes stone of our agreement
to always be present
should i ever forget
the
magic
of
me
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12. |
i still love you eleven
01:14
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you come to women
for their sweetness
for the way their gentleness
always provides a home for you
you dont have to ask her
for her entire self
her secret is that
she does not need heartbreak
to open
to make an entrance
to become soft
she is the gateway
between heaven
and earth
between
you and
yourself
there are
riches
and wonders
and healing
she carries
abundance
in her hips
on her lips
a constant
prayer
she holds it
high
on your
behalf
believes
in your
dreams
celebrates
your existence
in the midst
of chaos
reminds
you to
the peace
of the divine
plants
a
reminder
in your heart
that grows
on your face
cultivates
faith
and reaps
a bountiful
harvest
a plentiful
portion
an abundance
of mercy
flows
forward
freely
forever
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13. |
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all in my wildest dreams
love aint the wildest thing
you take me higher
everything asks me
if i truly believe in
the power of love
there is a story
longing to be told that leads
our best selves back home
boy meets girl again
but for the very first time
he sees his future
our eyes met and knew
we circled the throne of god
next to each other
with just one glance we
made home for one another
to return to self
we embody the
truth of the moment and make
love out of thin air
(our love is wider
wider than the sun
your love it takes me
higher
higher than the sun
your love it feels much brighter
brighter than the sun
you are the only one
our love is brighter)
who am i to tell
the turner of hearts what love
looks like in winter
all heaven and earth
sing a song in praise of two
hearts answering yes
we hold hope in high
regard and beckon new life
take shape as we dream
holy gratitude
a covering of goodness
an instant increase
the pace of freedom
welcomes every expression
a place to call home
we asked each other
the same questions and heard the
same peace come forward
i found a safe space
between your breath that held me
and now i am yours
i find you in my
secrets and sacred places
whispering the truth
holy happy new
love that increases with our
every smile
love is a series
of private prayers visioning
our sweet surrender
(all in my wildest dreams
love aint the wildest thing
our love is higher
higher higher than the sun
brighter brighter than the sun
wider wider than sun
our love is brighter)
we stay hovering
in pleasure between each sigh
a sweet surrender
his silent smiles lifts
the small of my back towards
his mouth in one breath
I say your name out
loud to feel you in my mouth
right where u belong
we look up towards
the rain and say a silent
prayer with our hearts
i haiku you i
haiku you i haiku you
i haiku you i
i love you i love
you i love you i love you
i love you i love
we become sacred
coverings for each other
hand in hand with god
i found a new way
of loving that holds all of
my heart in one piece
he found a new way
of loving that holds all of
his heart in one piece
holy gratitude
the way good keeps increasing
just by giving thanks
giving thanks is our
favorite form of worship
alhamdulilah
(wider wider than the sun
this love it feels much brighter
brighter than the sun
it takes me higher
higher higher than the sun
love is the only one
you take me higher
all in my wildest dreams
all in my wildest dreams
all in my wildest dreams
all in my wildest dreams)
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